Fred Weasley's Awesomer Notebook
by books4evah
Summary: If I have any say in it, which I do, Ron and Hermione will be inseperable quite soon! MUAHAHAHAHA! Sequel to Sirius Black's Notebook. Slightly AU.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: This is the sequel to Sirius Black's Notebook. I dedicate this to all my readers, old and new, and ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO REVIEW. Because we all love reviews.

Fred

_George_

**Harry**

Ginny

**Fred Weasley's Awesomer Notebook- Entry 1**

Well. Here we are. Writing in the notebook of the legendary marauders.

_I feel honored._

Yes, you should.

The marauders were AWESOME!!

Their pranks were legendary. –sniff sniff-

You'd think that you guys were writing in Merlin's notebook.

But Ginny, we are writing in the notebook of someone better than Merlin!

Yeah, right.

Ginny, I'm offended!

_You don't deserve to write in their notebook._

**You know, I'm the son of Prongs, why aren't you fawning over me?**

'Cause, you never knew Prongs! He died before- Oops. I shouldn't have said that. Should I?

Nope. He's gone.

Well, oops?

Why do you have to be so immature?

_Ginny! How can he not be immature?_

You know he's my crush! You just had to scare him off!

_Umm… Yeah. Why does that matter?_

He was sitting so close to me!

Ginny! If you are going to act like that, we might just have to chase Potter with beaters bats, even if he is one of the school champions.

_Oh yeah. I think we'll pass this on, so the notebook might want to know that the triwizard tournament is this year!_

Amazing. Now, back to how we got the notebook.

Well. We were searching through Filch's confiscated items drawers.

_Most of the stuff was stupid. Like fanged Frisbees, and dungbombs._

'Cept, we pocketed the dungbombs.

_We found this notebook, and the pages were yellowing, so we put a charm on it, that made it good as new._

It had 'Plan S.I.R.I.U.S.' written on it.

_Well, we nicked it, to make a short story short._

We started reading it, and low and behold, the marauders wrote it.

We read the whole thing through, and then showed it to Harry.

_Which was a mistake._

Eh. It took a long time to convince him to let us keep it.

_He wanted to keep it as a reminder of his parents._

He deserves to know them!

_We told him we wanted to continue the matchmaking tradition, and carry out Plan S.I.RI.U.S._

What finally convinced him was when we told him that we were going to try to get ickle Ronniekins together with Hermione.

_That's what we need your help on._

I'd be glad too!

Wow. That was fast.

Eh. I've had too much listening to Hermione go on about Ron. It's obvious they like each other. 

_We're proud to call you our sister._

Thanks! But, what exactly happened in the marauders notebook?

Funny times. Funny times.

_Well, the plan name stands for Seriously, Irksome Red Iguanas, Unattended, Sleep._

Beautiful.

Then we learned that Sirius has an obsessive fetish with oysters.

Oysters?

_Yep, oysters._

Then there was the romance. But I wont go over that.

TELL ME THE ROMANCE!! WE GIRLS CANNOT GO A DAY WITHOUT ROMANCE!! I'LL DIE AND BLAME YOU TWO IF I DON'T GET MY ROMANCE!!

Okay. I guess we're telling you the romantic bit.

_Why are you looking at me?_

You're telling the romantic part, remember?

_No, I don't, but-_

Gred.

_Fine, Forge!_

Well?

_James practically stalked Lily, and then started to act mature, and then thye went to a ball and fell in love and kissed._

…

_Well? Why are you staring at me so blankly, Ginny?_

Not even going to say.

_What? Want more details? Fine! Read the notebook!_

Ow! Bloody Hell! George! You hit my head!

_What can I say? We're beaters._

Nice.

_JUST READ!!_

Looks like you're not the only one with mood swings, Ginny.

_SHUT UP._

Fine! I'll read it!

…

That is sooo sweet!!

Stop giggling.

Oh, why don't you just go oogle Angelina Johnson? I know you like her!

No, I don't think I will, thanks.

_But how do you know he likes her? Ow, Fred!_

I'm your sister! Of course I know who you like!

Who does George like?

Easy, No one.

WHAT?!

Calm down, Fred. Not everyone had to like someone else. But Ron does like Hermione.

_Do you know who Harry likes?_

I wish it were me, but it's Chang.

_Cho Chang?_

Haha. The girl he likes is related to Candy Chang.

_I wonder how Ginny knows that? Does she stalk him?_

I hope not. But we can always ask her. Ginny?

…

Ginny?

…

OI! GINNY!

…

_Fred, she went upstairs, probably to cry about how her crush doesn't like her._

WHAT?! POTTER HURT OUR BABY SISTER!! THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY, FOR THAT!!!

_I AGREE!_

WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?

_WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?_

WHY DON'T WE STOP SHOUTING?

_I AGRE- I mean, I agree._

Yes, who wouldn't?

Now, let's get out our beater's bats.

…

I wonder if they realize that I was here the whole time?

AN: And that is the first chapter! Please review. Or give me ideas, cause if I don't get good ideas, this might be a short fic.


	2. Entry 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

AN: TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY!! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear moi!! Happy birthday to me! Hope you like this chapter, and PLEASE, give me ideas, or this will be a short story.

Fred

_George_

**Harry**

Ginny

**Fred Weasley's Awesomer Notebook- Entry 2**

**Ginny?**

Yeah, Harry?

**Do you have any idea why Fred and George have been chasing me with beaters bats?**

Umm… None! None at all.

**Okay… But it has been weirding me out. **

Yeah. That's Fred and George for ya.

**Well, I thought you'd know, since I could hear them muttering something about you.**

Uh… FRED! GEORGE! GET OVER HERE!!

Why?

_We don't want to get near that little-_

You do realize Harry did nothing to me yesterday.

_Then where were you when we called you?_

Next to you.

Ah.

**So. Let me get this straight. We are here to try and get Ron and Hermione together. Right?**

Right.

_Who else would we be getting together? Malfoy and Parkinson?_

Or Fred and Angelina?

_Ooh! Let's get Fred and Angelina together!_

Shut up.

No. I think we should do that.

**I agree.**

_Let's make a list of who we want to get together._

Ron and Hermione.

_That's our number one priority. Numero uno._

Yep. Then Fred and Angelina.

_Wood and Spinnet._

**But Wood left.**

Whatever. I still think they're cute.

_That Seamus kid and Brown girl in your year, Harry._

**Good, what about Katie and Lee?**

Hmm. That just might work. And Thomas with Patil.

Well that's enough of that.

Hey, Harry. We were wondering how you got your name into the Goblet.

**I seriously didn't put it in.**

_Are you sure?_

**Yeah.**

Are you sure you're sure?

**Positive.**

_Are you really sure?_

**As sure as the fact that Snape hates my guts.**

Are you-

**SHUT UP!**

_Fine. So do you know what the first task is going to be?_

**Not a clue.**

Wow. That's scary. All of that danger at the age of 14.

**Nothing I haven't done before.**

_They say there was a high death toll before it was discontinued. What did they do-_

Make the third task defeat U-No-Poo in a duel?

U-No-Poo? Nice!

**Yep. **

_Personally, I like Moldyshorts._

What about Moldywarts?

**I gotta wonder what the world would be like if you two were death eaters.**

_Living hell-_

For a certain worm faced being.

How did I get you two as brothers?

_Well. When a mommy and daddy love each other very much-_

If you're talking about sex, I already know what that is.

_What! You're not fifteen!_

That's because dad told all of you when you were fifteen. Mom told me when I was ten.

Your poor corrupted mind!!

He-he. I just realized that Dad only told you last year.

_Actually, no._

Dad didn't tell you! So you don't know what sex is…

No. Jordan explained it to us in our second year.

_Somewhat disturbing,_

And then Angelina hit puberty.

That convinced both of you that sex wasn't gross?

_No just Fred._

George saw some muggle sports magazines.

That's just wrong.

**Somewhere, Ron is sitting, wondering what sex is, and why Seamus won't shut up about it.**

Seamus isn't a virgin?!

**No. I just think he has some weird fetish.**

_That's sad, man._

He should have just broken the rules, like us.

**Right!**

_What?_

**I have to meet Hagrid, he wants to show me something, so if you needed to tell me something, go ahead.**

We should probably tell you our plans for plan S.I.R.I.U.S.

**Go ahead.**

Okay.

Step 1: Observe the soon to be lovers.

_Or stalk._

You're going to stalk them!

Well, we need to get information on them.

Just ask Harry and me. We are their friends! And you're Ron's brother!

_But stalking's fun!!_

Maybe I should start stalking Harry.

**I'm just going to back away now. Back away.**

Yes. You guys may observe, but we will stalk!

_Step 2: Plan out some plans!_

Isn't that redundant?

_Be quiet._

Step 3: Carry out plans.

**Wow. Real creative.**

_Step 4: Place bets._

**Wait. What?**

_We bet money, or stakes, on just about anything and everything._

Step 5: Observe results.

Again. Very creative.

_Step 6: If need be, repeat some steps._

**Is that all?**

_Yep._

**Then I'm off.**

Bye Harry!

_Yeah Bye Harry!_

Buh-bye now!

Shut up. I'm off to continue making my Amortentia!

_Do you even want to know what she's using that for?_

No. Let's leave it at that.

…

_Remember the oyster suits?_

Yeah.

_Well, I wonder how it feels in them._

Yeah, me too.

_Why don't we try? Robes can easily be transfigured into oyster suits._

Yeah! To the oyster suits!!

AN: Please review, and PLEASE give me ideas! Thanks for reading!


	3. Entry 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: I dedicate this chapter to all my faithful reviewers:

Brona- You're probably the best reviewer, the one who's been reviewing for the longest

TheOriginalHufflepuff- You've pointed out some very useful information.

Denise134- You've just been a great reviewer.

Other awesome reviewers:

Tazzie21

Nightstarz

LadyofDragon089

Serenity12345

Tiuannemei

Rider Arya Svit-kona

Cherry blossom rain

A True Marauders at Heart

Ajteel0203

IceSnowAndGlamour

LILLYandJAMESareCUTE

Alwaizz

Hermione09Weasley

Touchtheskyx

Hpdetective216

PiecesOfEight- My awesome first reviewer!

Thanks to all of you, this chapter is dedicated to you all! And, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin have agreed to go on dates with all of you (sorry, James wasn't available)! Oh, wait, they're dead. Ah well, you'll just have to wait till you get to the afterworld.

Fred

_George_

**Harry**

Ginny

**Fred Weasley's Awesomer Notebook- Entry 3**

Hey Harry!

**Hi Ginny.**

Want some Amort- I mean, Pumpkin juice.

**Uhh, I think I'll pass.**

_Taking a leaf from Moody's book, are we?_

**Yeah. I don't go around drinking Amortentia.**

That's a relief. 'Cause if you drank our sister's Amortentia, we might have to get out our beater's bats.

**Not those! Anything but those!**

_We don't really want to beat the golden boy/Hogwarts champion/Gryffindor seeker. It's just not on our to-do list._

I'm still here, you know!

All the more reason to let you know you're not dating till seventh year, and the guy is approved by a Weasley brother.

What!

_Fine. Sixth year._

Uggh.

**Sorry Ginny.**

So. Did the oyster suits work?

_Yes, you get a sense of euphoria without the drugs._

**How'd it go?**

We summoned the oyster suits, and apparently Filch had confiscated them years ago.

_They came with a sign saying "Oysters Will Rule the World". And a sign saying S.P.O.W._

Society for the Promotion of Oysters' Welfare.

**Seems that Hermione and Sirius think alike.**

You weren't there Harry, but Fred and George were prancing around the Great Hall in the suits.

**Probably practicing the summoning charm with Hermione.**

Everyone was staring at them and laughing.

_And a few teachers fainted from a relapse in memory._

Remembering the good ol' days with Sirius.

_Such a sham that he turned out to be a criminal._

But he escaped from Azkaban!

_Wicked._

**He's actually not a true criminal.**

_What!_

What!

What!

**Here, I'll explain, but not in the notebook, someone could read it later, I'll tell you, but you CANNOT tell anyone else.**

…

Awesome!!

_I knew our hero wasn't a real convict._

Yeah, right.

**Well, I was writing him, and I wrote about the notebook.**

_What happened?!_

**He started cracking up. He said that he'd have to come on day and write in it with us. He always knew that Ron and Hermione should get together.**

_Sweet!_

Bloody hell!

That is pretty cool.

I can't wait!!

_We must improve our pranking! Get ready for the consultation with the mighty god of pranks!!_

**I also told him about you guys, and your worshipping him.**

What'd he say?!

**He heard about your pranks and all, and he said that it might be the marauders that should be worshipping you two.**

…

…

I think they fainted.

**Yep. They did.**

Well. I must go get Hermione to help me with my Potions essay. 

**What's it about?**

Fifty-eight uses of dragon blood. Assigned today, due tomorrow.

**Ouch.**

Well, gotta go. Seeya tomorrow!

…

**Whoa. Her bum is hot!**

**Wait. I just looked at her bum.**

**Ron's sister's bum.**

**I can't.**

**Ron will beat me down.**

**She's Ron's sister. She's Ron's sister.**

**AAAAHHH!!! **

I'm awake!

_So am I!_

Where's Harry?

_Where's Ginny?_

Whatever. They're gone.

_Better not be gone with each other._

We might have to do some regrettable things.

_Ooh! Ginny left her Amortentia!_

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

_Does it involve Ron, Hermione,and some Pumpkin Juice?_

Yep.

_Then yes, I am._

C'mon, our work here is done.


	4. Entry 4

Disclaimer: I. Don't. Own. Harry. Potter.

AN: GO REVIEWERS!! (You know who you are!) YAAAAAYYY!!

Fred

_George_

**Harry**

Ginny

**Fred Weasley's Awesomer Notebook- Entry 4**

I know, I know. It's been more than a week since we last wrote.

_But it was a very busy week. Just ask Harry._

And, you can't blame us. We're guys.

Guys meaning lazy procrastinators.

We're not girly-girls who HAVE to write in their diaries every single waking moment.

Ahem.

_You should really get something for that cough._

I'm a girl, and I'm not that obsessed with diaries.

**You were totally opposed to writing in the notebook.**

Jeez, and all because of one tiny little mishap with a diary in you first year.

MISHAP?!! I ended up on the floor of the Chamber of Secrets out cold-

**AND, I had to save her ass from the Basilisk! Those things hurt!!**

Hey, you saw our sister, ASLEEP?

_And what the bloody hell where you doing near her ass?_

DIE, POTTER!! DIE!!!!!

_Get out the Beater's bats!_

You do know that Ron was, there, do you?

_Oh, sorry Potter._

Aw man! I wanted to commit homicide!!

**Hmph.**

I think it's sweet that you came to save me.

**Umm, I came because you're Ron's sister, and if I didn't come, Ron would bet my ass.**

_Like he could do that._

And it better stay that way, Potter. Keep it professional.

**Like I would want it more than that.**

WHAT? DIE POTTER, DIE!!!

_I'm so proud to call you my sister, Ginny._

Me too. –sniff sniff-

DIE!!!

_Well, while we let Ginny cool down, why don't we talk about the first task._

**Okay. I didn't see three fourths of it.**

_Well Fleur-_

Whoa- stop there, let's drool in peace for a moment.

**I agree.**

I don't. AND HOW DARE YOU, POTTER!! DROOLING OVER SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME?!

…

Potter?

…

Um? Hello?

Done drooling.

**Like wise.**

You should be glad that you weren't drooling longer.

Where's George?

**Still drooling.**

Pervert.

**Well, do you want to continue?**

Sure. Well Fle-

DON'T SAY HER NAME!!

FINE!! She-who-will not-be-named put the dragon in this kinda trance thingy.

She went to get the egg, and right before she reached, the dragon snorted fire onto her.

_Stupid-snorting-dragon-burning-perfect-girl. Meh._

**There's George.**

Well, anyways, then there was Diggory.

_Stupid-Diggory-with-perfect-face-winning-game-last-year._

**You're STILL obsessing over that? We won the cup!**

Well, he transfigured a rock into a dog.

It was really advanced magic.

He wanted the dragon to go for the dog.

It worked about halfway through

But then the dragon changed his mind and went for Diggory instead.

_That was funny._

Then there was Krum.

He cast this spell onto the dragon's eyes, and it couldn't see anything.

But the dragon trampled over the eggs.

Don't need to explain that further. But, yours was the best.

Yeah, we don't really need to explain it though.

Basically you summoned your broom, and was the first to actually get the egg.

_What was it like?_

**I was nervous at first, but I knew everything I needed to know, so it wasn't that bad. It's the ball that's going to get me.**

_Know what you mean, know what you mean._

Well, I'm going with Angelina

Yes, we know, we all witnessed you asking Angelina.

I'm going with Angelina! I'm going with Angelina! I'm going-

_Shut up._

Who are you asking, Harry?

**Well… I know who I want to ask.**

Cho?

**Umm… Yeah, actually.**

Don't worry. You can do it.

_Ginny, what's with the sudden change of speed?_

I talked to Hermione. If I act cool around him, like I normally do, he might come around, and realize his true feelings for you.

**I'm still here. **

Who'ya taking Gred?

_Alicia and I decided to go as friends._

And end up as more than friends.

_Shut up._

I figure we need Ron to pluck up his courage to ask out Hermione.

**That'll happen when hell freezes over.**

And you're supposed to be their friend?

_Hey, Forge, looks like we'll have to get on the road down to hell._

And learn a good freezing charm.

I saw Krum eying Hermione the other day.

_What?_

Forget Ron and Hermione! We have a new relationship to plan!

_Hermione and Krum!!_

Why? Just why?

'Cause then we can say Viktor Krum is our little brother's best friend's husband!

_Isn't is obvious?_

**I thought I was Ron's best friend!**

_Not anymore!_

Sorry, Harry.

**But with me, you can say that the boy who lived is your little brother's best friend!**

_You aren't going to be the boy who lived for long!!_

Not with the way you're staring at our sister's bum!!

You are?

**Uhh…**

SWEET!!

I mean, I would appreciate it if you would stop that, Harry.

_We don't want to get out our beater's bats again._

**AHHH!! NOOOO!! **

**I mean… umm…**

**How did the Amortentia go?**

Wait. You guys took MY AMORTENTIA?!

_Umm… yes?_

That was meant for HARRY!

**I'm going to back away now. Back away.**

Damn. I'll just have to stew another cauldron.

**I'm going!! Bye!!**

_Great, you scared him off, Ginny._

Yeah, I was enjoying threatening him with our beater's bats.

Boys.

_Well. Ron drank it, and fell in love with Hermione._

But, apparently he was already madly in love with Hermione, so nothing changed.

_Hermione didn't have any, but Krum did, and he then asked Hermione to the dance, and she said yes._

Then, don't ask me how I this happened, but it did, Cho drank some, and started madly snogging Diggory, who then asked her out, and she said yes.

_Then a whole other bunch of people drank it. They all fell madly in love with their heart's desire._

Draco started flirting with Pansy Parkinson.

_That's just disturbing._

Goyle started snogging Crabbe.

_Mentally scarred for life._

And Terry Boot proposed to a mandrake.

_Just plain WEIRD._

_It turns out, that when we gave the Amortentia to the house elves to put it in Ron and Hermione's pumpkin juice, they put it in everyone's._

Really? I didn't know that.

So THAT'S why Harry started making passes at me during breakfast this morning.

_WHAT?_

HARRY MUST DIE!!

_Time to get out the beater's bats!_

No, it's time to move onto the next level. Bludgers.

_Time to get the bludgers!!_

…

…

…

SWEET.

AN: Please! Send in ideas! Reviews! I love them all!


	5. Entry 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: This is a very informal challenge. I was wondering if anyone could write a story, as long as you like, taking place in Hogwarts, with either the Marauders or the twins playing matchmakers. There most be at least one death threat, either to a Potter or Dumbledore, and fortune cookies. And don't forget the oyster suits!!

Fred (Forge)

_George (Gred)_

**Harry (Potter)**

Ginny (our little sister/ Gin)

**Fred Weasley's Awesomer Notebook- Entry 5**

This week was our honorary prank week! YAY!!

Honorary prank week?

_Yeah, we've pranking Ron and Hermione in an attempt to get them together._

**That might explain a few things.**

Oh, yeah that'll really work.

_I know? Right?_

Well, known of our pranks so far have worked.

**We might want to write some of these down, for the sake of the notebook, you know.**

Good thinking, Harry.

**Thanks.**

_SO…_

Our first prank was kind of fun.

_We covered their beds in pictures of each other._

When they woke up, all they could see was each other.

_Cute, eh?_

Very, Gred.

_I must agree, Forge._

That's why Hermione was flinching every time she saw Ron.

**She must have thought she was in love with Ron or something. **

It is true, you know.

**Might be why Ron woke up screaming.**

He DID? That's gold.

_So THAT'S what the commotion was._

He-he. I thought that that particularly gassy first-year had tooted again.

What the?

Yep, his toots are that loud.

Wtf?

_NO CURSING!_

I AGREE!

I DISAGREE!

**I WANNA SHOUT!!**

_Uhh…_

Ummm…

Wtf?

_No cursing!_

Its just initials!

Yeah, but it stand for a bad word!

It could stand for something else, you know!

_Yeah, like what?_

Um… Wigs… think!... Fast!

That's it! Wigs think fast!

What's that supposed to mean?

No clue.

**Nice.**

STOP SNICKERING!!

AND LET'S GET ON WITH THIS BEFORE I BEAT YOUR SORRY ASSES OFF!!

_Right._

**I agree with her.**

Let's get on with it.

_Well, our next prank involved the giant squid's evil layer._

Wtf?

_NO CURSI-_

…

_Fine! Just stop glaring!_

You were cowering like hell, back there.

_Not my fault! She looks like mom when she does that!_

Oh.

**Real turn-off, right there.**

_What did you say right there, Potter?_

**Umm, nothing?**

_Get him!_

DIE POTTER, DIE!!

EXCUE ME!!

AHHH! MOMMY GLARE!!

**AHHHH!! TURN-OFF!!**

_DIE POTTER!!_

**I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!**

SHUT UP GEORGE!! SHUT UP FRED!!

Jeez, you've known us ever since your birth. You'd think you'd know our names were-

_Gred and Forge._

Jeez.

…

**Ginny, you can stop the glare now.**

Fine. Now, you can just skip the squid story, it's probably pointless.

_Okay._

Fine.

**MAN!! I was looking forward to that!**

_Stop whining Harry._

Well, we heard some third years talking about this muggle thing-

_The Internet._

They said that you could find ANYTHING on it.

_So we snuck into the muggle studies classroom after hours, and got onto one of the computer thingies._

We went to a place called Google.

_We first searched for 'Ron and Hermione kissing'._

You aren't going to find THAT.

_Actually-_

Surprisingly enough.

_We found quite a lot of pictures with them kissing. _

Apparently, they have a lot of fans that want them together.

_SEE? Even muggles want them together._

We found a good one and printed it out.

_We're going to enlarge it and post it in the Great Hall tomorrow._

And that'll help, how?

Well, we decided to search different things.

_We searched 'Harry Potter'._

There were over 50 million sites found for him.

Wow.

**I'm popular!!**

…

_One of them was called 'Harry Potter Puppet Pals"._

We decided to check it out.

_It was this cool moving picture thing, with sound, that muggles call videos._

It was about Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

_Ron, in the video, had a fetish with chasing butterflies._

And both Ron and Harry liked to bother Snape.

_And he'd say in a monotone-_

You know a word that big?

_Yes. Now shut up. Snape would say 'I am Snape. The Potions Master.'_

And Ron and Harry would go up to him and say bother, bother.

_And Snape would then kill them._

And Dumbledore would come in and have 'Naked time'.

Disturbing images in my head.

**I agree.**

GET THEM OUT!!

_And there were a bunch of other ones._

Like Hermione would actually become hot.

_Or the trio would plan to kill Voldemort with machine guns, whatever those are._

He-he.

**I forgot to tell you.**

_What?_

**Well, apparently Sirius moved into a cave outside of Hogsmeade, and would love to write a journal entry with us. Next week I'll take you there, during the Hogsmeade trip, and we can talk to him.**

_AHHH1 I'M GOING TO FAINT._

And he fainted.

Oops, I think I might faint too.

And he's down.

So, Harry, asked anyone yet?

**I asked Cho, but she's going with Diggory.**

Oh, sorry. Not.

**Stupid-Diggory-taking-my-girl.**

Not you too.

**Ginny?**

Yes?

**Since Cho can't go with me, would you?**

Sorry. Neville asked first.

**Stupid-Longbottom-taking-my-second-place-girl.**

I'm only your second place girl?

**Umm… Yes?**

DIE POTTER, DIE!!

_Whoa, Ginny's screaming woke us up._

Yeah, what happened.

Hmmm… Potter here, and I, are getting married.

_WHAT?!_

DIE POTTER!

_DIE!_

Relax, I was kidding.

_Don't do that EVER again._

Yeah, we might end up killing Potter, and not mean it.

_Think of the trouble we'd get in._

_Mmm… Fortune cookies._

Random much?

_No, not really. I was just recalling the fortune cookies we bought._

**Why?**

We replaced some of the cookies' fortunes with ones we made, and gave them to Ron and Hermione.

And lemme guess, they said things like 'You will marry Ron'

**Or 'Your true love is Hermione'?**

_Wow, they're completing each other's sentences, they must really be in love._

AND they can read minds.

_I'm scared, Forge._

Me too, Gred.

_WAIT!! Let's go get the fortune cookies, and bring them to Sirius to eat!!_

Great idea, Gred!!

_We're off to see the Sirius!_

The wonderful Sirius of the marauders!

…

**I'm a little scared, Gin.**

Me too, Potter. Me too.

AN: RETURN OF THE FORTUNE COOKIES! Please be sure to review, and tell me what you think/give me ideas.


	6. Entry 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: Today we get to see Sirius Black! And remember to review/send in ideas! You might also want to Google "Harry Potter Puppet Pals and the Mysterious Ticking Noise" to get some of the story.

Fred

_George_

**Harry**

Ginny

_**And Sirius!**_

**Fred Weasley's Awesomer Notebook- Entry 6**

Fred. Fred. Fred Weasley.

Fred. Fred. Fred Weasley.

What the hell are you singing?

The mysterious ticking noise song, of course!

**WHAT? I THOUGHT NO ONE HEARD THAT!**

Umm… Backing away now.

_**And I thought you loved him.**_

Shut up!

_**Well, whatever. Now, what's this ticking noise thingy?!**_

_It was one of those Harry Potter Puppet Pals thingies._

_**Oh. One of those.**_

Wait? You know about those?!

_**Of course I do! I'm in the process of watching every single one known to man!**_

_Well, in it, Voldemort plants a bomb in Hogwarts, and everyone starts singing along to it._

The tune is quite catchy.

_WE decided to do that for a prank._

We planted a dungbomb at the teacher's table.

_Turns out, that Dumbledore doesn't do naked time, but he does like to sing._

And so does Harry.

**Singing is quite fun. Especially that duet with Severus.**

Um… okay.

_Yeah, Snape was the life of the party._

**That's PROFESSOR Snape to you!**

Right.

_**Awww man! I would have joined in, and be the life of the party!**_

**Ooh! Why don't we sing it right now!**

NOOOO!!! MY EARS!! MY EARS!!

_Don't make us tie you up again!_

**Wait. You don't let me so much as look at her, but you can tie her up.**

Dude, we're her brothers.

**Whatever.**

Fine.

_Okay! And a one, and a two, and a three four five!_

Fred-

_**Wait!**_

_What?_

_**You can't start it like that!**_

_And why not?_

_**Cause that's not how professionals do it!**_

_Fine! And a one, two, three, four, GO!_

Fred-

_**NO!**_

_What now?!_

_**That's still not how it's supposed to b done!**_

_Fine! _

_Ready! Set! Go!_

Fred-

_**That's still not it!**_

_You know what?_

**What?**

_It will never be perfect enough for you, Sirius!_

_**And this matters why?**_

_Because, now you get to start it, so it can be perfect!_

_**Okay! And a five, six, seven, eight!**_

Fred. Fred. Fred Weasley.

_Weasley!_

**Harry Potter.**

_**Sirius Black.**_

**Harry Potter.**

_**Sirius Black.**_

_Gred Weasley._

**Harry Potter.**

_**Sirius Black.**_

**Harry Potter.**

_**Sirius Black.**_

**Potter.**

_**Black.**_

**Potter.**

_**Black!**_

**Potter!**

_**Black!**_

**POTTER!**

_**BLACK!**_

SHUT UP ALL OF YOU BEFORE I MAIM YOU ALL TO PIECES!!

_Okay._

Stop whimpering, be man, Gred.

Grrrrrr.

-whimper whimper-

Boys.

_**So. Anyways. What's with the two trash bags?**_

_Let's just say we got into a little trouble with Hermione and Ron before we came here._

Emphasis on the Hermione part.

_Yeah, she can do a lot more damage than Ron._

Would this have anything to the picture of them kissing that you posted in the Great Hall?

Yes.

_No._

Maybe so.

I'll take this as a yes.

_**So, Ron and Hermione finally kissed?**_

_No. We just found a muggle picture of it._

Yeah, and they weren't even the real thing.

_They were look-alikes._

The label said Emma Watson and Rupert Grint as Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley.

_Maybe Ron and Hermione sneak behind our backs and pretend to be these Rupert and Emma people._

Or maybe, Hermione and Ron aren't real, and they're really Rupert and Emma!

_Good thinking!_

_**So, what are the trash bags for again?**_

We have an angry Hermione on our trail. We need somewhere to hide out.

_And we need sustenance, so we stuffed these bags with food, and brought them along._

Feel free to share them with us, you can open them.

_**YAY! FOOD!**_

…

_**Who the hell brings fortune cookies as sustenance (ooh, big word alert!)**_

Them, apparently.

_Want some?_

**Sure!**

_**I'm starving, and have to live off of rats! Of course I want some!**_

Eh, would one hurt?

So? What are your fortunes?

_I will defy authority in the future._

Wow. We REALLY needed a fortune cookie to tell us that one.

_What's yours, Forge?_

Percy is a pompous, idiotic, prat.

**That's pretty exact.**

Actually, it said your older brother will become a pompous, idiotic, prat.

But, Percy already fits that, so, if the shoe fits, right?

**Right. Mine says that I will end up living alone with Hermione for a couple months.**

WHAT! NOOOOOO!!

DIE HERMIONE!!

_Pay no attention to that._

**Okay, now, Sirius, what did you get?**

_**I will see my son again.**_

**Don't you mean godson?**

_**No. Not particularly.**_

**Huh?**

_**I'm Sirius Black! I have sowed many seeds!**_

_Nice analogy._

But stay away from our sister.

Wait, who are some of your children?

_**Ummm… let me think about this.**_

_**There's Seamus Finnigan, Hannah Abott, Blaise Zabini, Cho Chang, Dudley Dursley-**_

**OH. MY. GOD!!**

_**Oliver Wood, Rodger Davies, Fred and George Weasley-**_

_YOU'RE OUR FATHER?_

I knew that the trouble making gene had to come from somewhere!

You're only my half-brothers?

_Apparently._

Whose mother haven't you laid?

_**Umm… that's a hard one. **_

_**Probably Harry's.**_

**Phew.**

_**But only because she was happily married, and if I did, James would cut off my balls.**_

_**But she was like mega-hot.**_

**Disturbing images!**

Me too.

_Me three._

Who wouldn't, after learning that all of our mothers had sex with Sirius Black?

**GET THM OUT OF MY HEAD!**

Why don't we move on?

_Okay, what did you get, Ginny?_

I will marry the person sitting right next to me.

_You're marrying Buckbeak?_

Congratulations!

Wait, what?

_You're sitting next to Harry and Buckbeak, and we know you aren't going to marry Harry, so that leaves Buckbeak._

Hate to break it to, you, but, Buckbeak isn't a person.

So?

That means that I will marry Harry.

_He-he, that rhymes!_

_NOW DIE POTTER!_

_**And off they run, Harry, then George, then Fred.**_

_**Nice.**_

Here, I'll take the notebook. 

I wonder how long it'll take them to realize I'm all alone in a cave with a guy. AN older guy. Whose name is SIRIUS BLACK.

…

…

…

DIE BLACK! DIE!!


	7. Entry 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: The notebook entries won't be written too often, so don't flame me if I skip ahead a month or two.

Fred

_George_

**Harry**

Ginny

**Fred Weasley's Awesomer Notebook- Entry 7**

That ball was boring, don't you agree, Gred?

_Yes, quite boring._

Except for the part where you got to dance with Angelina.

Yes.

Angelina's sexy!

**We don't need to hear it.**

We haven't written in two weeks.

**Two BUSY weeks.**

Fine. But we should really catch the notebook up.

_I think the weeks were boring._

Yeah, no pranks.

Didn't Angelina make you do that, so she could have a perfect ball.

**Though, I'm not sure if dancing wildly is her idea of a perfect ball.**

_Or having to listen to Forge sing along to the Weird Sisters._

That's just disturbing.

WELL, I think we'll get on with it.

_Okay. We tried to get Hermione to dump Viktor, but it didn't go so well._

Who would want to dump a sexy international Quidditch player?

He's dreamy!

**I thought you liked me! WHEN DID YOU GET OVER ME?!**

_GO for your dreams sistah! Get that Krum boy into your submission!_

Yeah!

**I was going to ask you out!**

_Stay away from her, Potter!_

cough-Bludgers-cough

**Why aren't you threatening Krum?!**

_Cause he's an international Quidditch player!_

Who wouldn't want to call Krum they're brother-in-law?

**Umm… Me? Besides, I don't have a sister.**

**And I'm the one and only Harry Potter, you know!**

_But you'll just hurt our sister._

We don't trust her with older men!

**WHAT THE HELL?!!**

Guys, sorry. It's not happening.

Wha'd'ya mean, by that?

Krum and I tired it, but it just didn't work out.

_How?_

Well he's not very good at-

**I DON'T WANNA KNOW!**

Jeez, Harry. I was just going to say that he wasn't good at snogging.

_Sick mind, Harry. Sick mind._

But now that I think of it, he's bad at that too!

_WHAT!_

You're not a virgin?

I lost it long ago-

_DIE KRUM!_

DIE!

To Colin Creevey.

**To Creevey? Ewwwwww!**

Hey! I needed practice!

**Sick thoughts. Sick thoughts.**

_Ewwww!_

Ewwww!

**You've had sex? None of us have!**

About that. On the night of the ball-

No. 

**Huh?**

I was talking about my type of virginity.

**Huh?**

When I was little I thought that a virgin was someone who wasn't married yet.

**Huh?**

So, even now, when I know what a real virgin is, I still refer to people who haven't married as virgins.

**Huh?**

Stop saying huh!

**Sorry. It's kinda catchy.**

…

**Just try it.**

_Okay! _

_Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh!_

_YAAAAAY! FUN!_

Okay. Back away now. Just back away.

**Wait. So your married to Creevey, AND Krum?!**

Yep.

_Not our little sister!_

DIE CREEVEY!

_DIE KRUM!_

DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!

**Yay! No death threats to me, for once!**

Guys! I divorced them!

_Wait, who have you been married too?_

About eight.

Creevey, Krum, Finnigan, Jordan, Longbottom (he's my current husband), Wood, Malfoy, and Snape.

_Snape?! That's sick!_

We have so many people to kill!

**And none of them are me! YAY!**

Well, we're off on a killing spree!

_And when we get back, Ginny, we are going to have a nice long talk._

You actually fell for it!

**Wait, what?**

I was sick of all the pranks that these two have played on me, so, I decided to get them back, and this was the best way.

_I hate you Ginny._

I love you too, George.

Well, at least she's never, well, you know.

That's true, except I actually have snogged Krum.

_Hate his guts. Or do I?_

Well, let's gat back to explaining the past two weeks.

_Harry finally got a date, Parvati._

My question. She is said to be one of the prettiest girls in the year. THEN WHY DIDN'T SHE ALREADY HAVE A DATE?

**Maybe she was waiting for Dean. Everyone knows they like each other.**

Yeah.

**But I know that he wanted to look cool, and went stag.**

**Hehe, Stag. That's what my father was.**

Your father's a stag? That's wrong dude.

_Anyway, how is going stag cool?_

**To fourth years who don't want to like girls, it is definitely cool.**

Then why didn't you go stag?

'**Scuse me, Hogwarts champion. I had to dance, and it would look quite foolish if I didn't have a partner to dance with.**

_Why didn't Ronniekins go stag?_

**Easy enough. He wanted to make Hermione jealous.**

Don't particularly think that worked.

**Yeah, he just sat in the corner, moping.**

Charming, really.

_You'd think our brother would have picked up at least SOME of our scharm with girls._

Whatever. I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

Well, the ball was boring, except for the part about Angelina looking SEXY!!

_And that's about it._

**Seriously. The only way to make them fall in love, you'd think, is to join them at the hip.**

_That's it!_

You thinking what I'm thinking, Gred?

_Does it involve a heavy duty sticking charm?_

Let's put it this way:

If I have any say in the matter, which I do, Ron and Hermione wil be quite inseperable soon! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!

_Off to the- dare I say it?- LIBRARY!_

BE CAREFUL! And please don't gnaw any chair legs off!

**Wtf?**

Oh, sorry about that.

It's just that Fred and George have a phobia of libraries.

**What? How doe that work out? I thought they used the library to look up information for their pranks.**

Well, for that they would either look in school books, or if that doesn't work, they'd make Percy look it up for them.

**How'd ya do that?**

Well, it involes bribing, and those weird blood-lollipops.

**Is Percy a vampire?**

I'm not sure. But mom may have cheated on Dad with more than Sirius.

**Ew. Don't wanna know.**

I'm kidding. I liked Sirius' joke.

**Which one?**

The one where he said that Fred and George were his kids. It's not true, actually. Uncle Bilius was a big joker. 

**I didn't think that my godfather messed around with married women.**

But everyone else he mentioned were his children.

**Thanks a lot. **

Well, anyways, we should be afraid about what Fred and George are planning, right?

**Yes.**

**Very, very, very, very afraid.**


	8. Entry 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: Please review! Pretty please with cherries on top!

Fred

_George_

**Harry**

Ginny

**Fred Weasley's Awesomer Notebook- Entry 8**

You should be thankful we are here.

_Very grateful. We had to take time out of our very busy schedule._

Oh! Thank god for bringing us these two oracles of light in this time of darkness!

**Ginny, stop being so mean.**

Why should I?

'**Cause, without the twins, we wouldn't be able to get the notebook.**

**It's been a month since we last wrote in it, and you were the one bothering everyone about that anyway.**

Hey! There are some important things for us to record in here.

_Like what? The fact that Ron and Hermione wouldn't stop fighting? _

Or that we spent our whole month in the library?

**Or that Diggory kissed Cho?**

_When did that happen?_

Must have happened while we were in the library.

Actually, I've never heard of it either.

_Harry, were you spying on Chang, again?_

**Maybe.**

Harry. Do we have to resort to Veritaserum?

_You could end up telling us your thoughts about our sister, here, and some other things._

**Fine! I was!**

_Harry, Harry, Harry. When are you going to learn?_

Stalking girls does not turn them on.

**Aw man!**

_I think Diggory's got it down._

Yeah, his looks, his Quidditch skills, his charm, his-

**That's enough. I don't wanna know how my archnemesis is better than me.**

_Cedric and Cho!_

Sitting in a tree!

_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

First comes love!

_Then comes marriage!_

Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!

That'll probably end up happening, seeing how much in love those two are.

**NOOOOOOO!!**

_Hate to break it to you Harry._

See? You should have learned how to charm girls early on.

**Maybe I'll just have to kill Diggory!**

No!

**What?**

You can't kill Diggory!

**And why not?**

'Cause! You'll get Cho! And then who will I get? Not you!

**Ummm…**

Did I just say that aloud?

_Yeah._

Pretty much.

I mean, if you kill Diggory, then you'll be sent to Azkaban, and then you won't get Cho anyway!

**That's right!**

Note to self: kill Cho in her sleep.

**What the hell?**

Did I say that aloud, again?

_Yeah._

You really need to get help on the whole saying stuff aloud thing.

_It might lead to problems in the future._

Like confessing your undying love to Potter.

_And we don't want that, do we?_

No, we don't.

**And what's so bad about me?**

_You're not Krum._

**Wtf?**

What about Malfoy?

_Sure, go ahead._

Oh, sorry, Harry. But Malfoy's richer than you will ever dream to be.

And Snape?

_Sure, he's got a respectable career._

**Bloody hell!**

Voldemort?

Ooh! Perfect match!

_Voldemorts super cuddly!_

**You're all insane!**

What's your problem, Potter?

…

And he's down.

_Nice faint._

Really, best prank ever.

_Harry will never know what hit him._

You mean, he doesn't know what just hit him.

What?

_Oh, I hit him._

Beautiful, really.

_It's the closest I ca go to killing him, without landing in Azkaban._

Perfect, except for the part where HE'S NOT BREATHING!

_Oops._

Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!

Breathe, Ginny, breathe!

He better not bbe dead, Gred!

_Oh my GOD! I just killed Harry Potter!_

**I just got you so bad!**

_I hate you._

You better not! 

_And why's that?_

You can't go around hating my future husband!

**I'm backing away now, backing away.**

Real nice Ginny.

Well, anyway, what have you been reasearching?

Think we can tell her, Gred?

_I suppose so._

Okay.

Well?

_When Harry said joining Ron and Hermione at the hip might be the only thing that would work, it gave us an idea._

We decided to find a way to stick them together.

**Why'd ya need the research? A simple sticking charm should work.**

_Well, we wanted to add a twist._

We decided that they could only separate once they kissed.

_So…_

We've been researching how to make that work.

_So far, we have it, but it involves a potion that we need to brew._

And it takes a month to brew.

So the plan isn't carried out for another month.

_Yep. _

And then, we'll slip some of the potion in their drinks, and then…

_We need you to keep them close enough so we can perform the charm._

Nice. Ron and Hermione are going to kiss.

We were also thinking that we've been writing a lot in the notebook.

Yeah.

**It takes a lot of time out of studying.**

_SO, maybe, after Ron and Hermione kiss, we can place the notebook somewhere that a new generation can carry on the tradition._

**Sounds good to me.**

I like that.

_Well, it's back to brewing._

Buh-bye.

**Hey Ginny.**

Yeah?

**How long you bet till they give in and kiss?**

A day.

**Man! You stole mine!**

Get a new one.

**Fine, two hours.**

Oh, it's on, Potter.

AN: Review! I cherish all my little reviewers, with all of your smiling faces!


	9. Entry 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Did you think that it changed in the past hour?

AN: The last chapter!

Fred

_George_

**Harry**

Ginny

**Fred Weasley's Awesomer Notebook- Entry 9**

Bugger.

What is it, Fred?

_Just something._

Come on, you seemed perfectly happy, placing bets on the second task an hour ago!

**That reminds me, why didn't it work?**

What work?

_The charm!_

You mean the one that you spent a month researching?

_What other?_

It was supposed to go into effect an hour afterwards!

_But, apparently, if you're totally submerged in water during that hour, then the charm's messed up._

Stupid Harry. Stupid Krum. Why are your most prized possessions Ron and Hermione?!

_Fred worked really hard, making that potion, and nicking the supplies._

And it would've worked, if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Huh?

_Pay no attention to him._

**Can't you just make it again?**

No!

**Why?**

_The potion takes a month to brew._

_And we need to catch up on our studies._

And Snape ran out of the ingredients.

Poor Fred.

_Quite right, there. Forge was looking forwards to Ron and Hermione kissing._

Why won't they just snog already?!

'**Cause they're idiots, that's why.**

_I agree._

Me too.

Me four!

What's wrong with him?

_Eh, the disappointment seemed to have some side effects._

**Hey, Fred!**

What?

**It's Angelina.**

Outta my way!

Must go become a suave debonair!

He's lost it.

**Completely.**

_Oh, there he goes, after Angelina._

This had better be interesting!

_I know!_

**And he sweeps her into a large kiss!**

I hope they get married!

_Know what ya mean._

I want Angelina as a sister-in-law!

_But I don't want Harry as brother-in-law!_

Get over it.

**Well, who do you want as a brother-in-law?**

_Krum!_

I told you! It's not going to happen.

**Wow. Angelina looks quite dazed.**

She seems pretty happy.

_And off to her dormitory she goes._

**And Fred comes, marching over.**

Hello! It's a beautiful day in the Gryffindor common room!

_I'll say._

You're just jealous, George, my man.

I gotta wonder. 

Why do we write in the notebook, when we could jus talk?

**Hmm… Good question.**

_Cause it's cool!_

More like it records our efforts for future generations.

Well, looks like s good snog definitely cheered someone up.

I know!

_Maybe we should try it on Harry._

Yeah, he always looks so down.

Who should be the lucky girl?

_Well, not Cho-_

**Aw man!**

-_unless we kill Cedric._

**Ooh! I vote for that! I vote for that!**

I vote for killing Cho.

_Umm…_

Why not me?

_No way, sis._

Not our little sister.

Can you imagine what it feels like for the other big brothers, whose little sisters you might be sacrificing?

_Uh…_

I, um…

No. You don't. That's what I thougt.

_Well, who will kiss Harry?_

Why not a girl who doesn't have an older brother?

No, no. I'll willingly sacrifice myself.

_Hermione?_

**No! Ewww! She's like my sister!**

And that'd ruin the whole plan.

Did you hear what I said?

_Yeah, but we're still not letting you._

Ugh!

You must wait till your fifth year.

_Understand?_

Hmph.

Take that as a yes.

I'm considering not telling you what happened with Ron and Hermione.

_You know you wanna tell us._

You can't resist the gossip.

Must-gossip-now! Fine!

_Oh yeah!_

**So what happened?**

Well, after the task, Hermione was talking to me, and she was talking about how scared she was.

**Hermione? Scared? Psh!**

She was!

I told her that Dumbledore would never let her drown, and she said that wasn't it.

I asked her what, and she said she was worried about Ron.

_What?_

**No way!**

The apocalypse is coming!

The apocalypse is coming!

Well, I was stunned too.

She told me she had cared about Ron since the middle of second year.

**Ron's been in love with Hermione since we all meet.**

_Wicked._

So I mad her talk to Ron.

I guided her out into an empty corridor, and dragged Ron there.

Then I supposedly left, and hid behind a statue of armor.

They were talking, and finally-

_Ron puked on her!_

Hermione choked to death!

**They confessed their love for each other!**

Even better.

Hermione leaned in to Ron, to hug him.

But, Ron, finally learning your so said 'charm', kissed Hermione, right there.

And Hermione kissed him back.

They started snogging.

And it lasted a whole ten minutes.

_WOOHOO!_

Bye-bye notebook.

**Wait!**

_What?_

**I can hear them fighting!**

_Ah, well._

We said till they kiss.

_And they kissed._

Anyway, they'll end up together, anyway.

Yeah. It's like that couple loves to fight.

_They're insane._

**I gotta agree.**

_Anyway…_

GLEE DANCE!!

Those two will never, learn, will they?

**Nope, never.**

I love them anyway.

…

Hey, Harry?

**Yeah?**

Sorry about the fact that you've never kissed.

**Yeah, it's ok-**

…

…

…

…

…

…

Okay, we're done with the glee dance.

_But it was loads of fun._

Guys?

…

_Guys?_

…

Hey! Potter's snogging our sister!

_Oh no he's not!_

Yes he is!

_I didn't mean it THAT way!_

Then what way did you mean it?

_Never mind. Let's get on with it._

DIE POTTER!

_DIE!_

WHY WON'T YOU STOP SNOGGING OUR SISTER?!!

AN: The end. I know, I know. It's short. But I don't care. I want to write a sequel (but it won't be out for a while). It'll be in the next generation. I'll be trying to get Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley together. It'll be written by James Potter (junior) and Becky Wood (Oliver Wood and Alicia Spinnet's child). Other than that, I need ideas on who will write it, and the plot (that's for you, Brona). I also want any good ideas. Please! It will have the oyster suits, and maybe the fortune cookies. I need all the help I can get!


End file.
